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We live in a sick society. Only part of our needs are recognized as legitimate, and even they are not being taken care of very well.

At least our survival needs tend to be recognized. If someone doesn't have a livelihood, hie can get unemployment benefits or social security. Our medical needs are more or less taken care of - as long as they don't cost too much.

What's not recognized are our sexual and emotional needs.

Of course, the best place to care for ALL needs is within the family, but only a few percent of typical ("nuclear": mom, pop, kids) families are able to do so, and fewer still can do so on a lifetime basis. It amounts to a formula for predictable stress and failure in the home.

One of the possibilities of creating such a family is, at the least, a return to part of the traditional "extended family" format: the multi-adult family of earlier eras (our abbreviation of this framework will be "MAF"). However, what joins this new extended family together is primarily LOVE, instead of mainly blood relations.

Another possibility would be what can be called an "intimate network" (we will use the term "poly tribe" to refer to this alternative). These would be people who lived in more or less proximity to one another, and would CARE about each other. Not everyone would need to care about everyone else in this type of framework, and the autonomy of each individual would be supreme.

And a third possibility would be what we call a loving poly community (LPC).

These different frameworks could co-exist (or not). It would be possible to live in a multi-adult family (MAF) with or without a community (LPC), and with or without an additional intimate network (poly tribe). It would be possible to live in an LPC, and NOT be part of an MAF. And it would be possible to live in a poly tribe with no connection to an MAF or LPC. AND, of course, all other combinations are also possibilities. No one (OTHER than the people participating) will define what any particular framework is and how it works.

It's the Temple Of Love's position that in a mature culture, such frameworks should be able to form and provide for intimate/sexual relationships among their (non-related) adult members.

Such frameworks would not only create healthy and positive home environments for young and old, but they would be better candidates to happily endure, sustaining high standards of living, caring, and relating.

Such multi-lateral, intimate adult relationships are included in the definition of "polyamory," which is commonly called "responsible non-monogamy." While TOL itself is relatively new, we have historical antecedants, and are part of an established, serious, responsible, literate and law-generating modern movement that has been developing rapidly for over 30 years (see the links on this site).

We in TOL relate to another problem as well - the different worlds that are encountered by the men and the women. One symptom of these differences is that men, by and large, think the only way to show and feel intimacy is by having sex, whereas their preoccupation with sex leaves many women feeling put off and "hunted."

How much, do you suppose, might the stress, violence, crime and economic exploitation of this world be driven by problems of unanswered sexual hunger in men, and ritualistic "winner-take-all" sexual selection behaviors between the genders? Polyamory might well go a long way toward clearing the air for basic, real improvements in society.

Everything at TOL remains open to your comments and new directions. This is a special time for us, and for you to become involved. The invitation is open to join, and to significantly influence what transpires among us.

For more information, please click on About Us.